Currently Listening Single File By The Honor System Fool's GOld see related

You are nothing, if not fortinate

I was driving home today, fairly T.H..  Upon approaching the exit that leads to my apartment complex i noticed a sign at the foot of the off ramp which read "DO NOT CROSS DOUBLE WHITE LINES" . So i didn't.

However, I don't think i can ever recall that sign being there before tonight.

Also, discovered that cove streets are built into suburban neighborhood roads for a reason.  They are employed to redirected high kids back home safely. Nobile, but kind of ridiculous that i had to realize this as an old man who was in a neighborhood that isn't his home town.

Currently Listening Waiter: "You Vultures!" By Portugal. The Man AKA M80 The Wolf see related

I rescently descovered the reason why i can't be 100% vegan, and that is b/c i enjoy Irish Car Bombs to much. I think im going to invent a way around this obstacle.

I have a few things to do tommorw. Sometimes i feel like im letting everyone down, and then there are other times when im sure of it.

Currently Listening The Devil And God Are Raging Inside Me By Brand New .jesus.christ. see related

I want to know something about you. I want to know if you, the reader has every experienced something similar.

Have you ever taking a warm, relaxing shower after a long day of work, and then moments after taking an ice cold shower. Its like an unexpected sharp turn, but the fact that you turned the wheel in the opposite direction leave you to blame. Thats why you don't flinch. You don't flinch because you turned the wheel and 180'ed your alertness.

I employ the warm relaxing shower as a symbol for our daily struggles and the inevitable vice to which we succumb in hopes of numbing our self inflicted ailments. The cold shower is our moment of clarity that yields a shift in priority. We remember the dates circled in our calender. We check our messages. We cross things off of a list. It is at this break neck speed where we rediscover the strength to stand up and punch the driver.

Everything around us is an asset and must be taken advantage of. Sleep, sugar, smoke, eye-drops, and anxious cynicism are the instruments of our salvation. The songs in our head are the tune by which we march. The line in that movie is the moto we consult. The famous quote by that famous author whos book we never finished reading is the unsubstaiontiated rumor around which we base our existence. Have you ever had the guption to cry fowl on these institutes, turn the wheel and flip the truck? b/c i have.

Currently Listening When We Break By Criteria Prevent The World see related

.... Before i begin arranging something that is be graded, I'm going to stimulate my mind by composing something abstract. That should be justification enough to waste just that last bit of time before i have to return to thinking for someone else's approval and judgment.

Twice this evening i met in the middle of a vice. I remembered i had around a dollar in loose change in my pocket. I was considering a big drink from QT, but i remembered that since it is winter time, all sizes of coffee at QT where 50 cents. SO i decided i could get a coffee tonight and then another on the way to school, hours later. It was like paint extender for the imagination. The kind of mentality that makes a commitment to make lunches the night before, so you wont have to spend money the following afternoon The fact that both of these acts promote being awake for a long period of time is coincidental.

The second time I met in the middle of a vice was just a few minutes ago. I was smoking some hash on my balcony, and in the middle of it i all i decided to extinguish the J, and save the second half for the morning commute to Denton tomorrow. Sometimes, the fibers of my mind are like a rubber band and can't stretch around the idea of multiple tasks. I take comfort in the fact that in around another 2 weeks, they will have one less concept to entertain.

I also take comfort in the unusual common ground found between the two mentioned vices. Any other night, they would have most like played tug of war with the fibers of my imagination. This is because they demand motion in different directions. But not tonight. This evening there is a compromise. The motion of realism and the detour of listlessness are linear. It's like walking in a straight line to one common goal, but all the while looking left and right just to see and admire your surroundings.

I'm getting tired of only having enough time to scrabble for judgment based on my critique of the words of the dead. I want to say something that is my own.

I want to be the type of person who lives a normal happy life, and can only hope to earn mild attention post-mortem when my diary is discovered in an attic, revealing to a small group of people of just how far my imagination stretched just before it snapped.

Currently Listening Destination Failure By Smoking Popes You Spoke to Me see related

.

I have  been pretty tired as of late, but i don;t know why. i guess the cullmination of alot of different facotrs is catching up to me late in this semester. I anticipate the December break. Smoking ciggarettes and christmas lights.  Hard liqour, soft drugs, coffee, and at the top of the list good company. J'cynda just called me. That was nice.

Im going to get back into writing stuff for English. I say thats what i want to do, and it is but sometimes its hard to start.  I think deciding to do something is harder thatn actually doin it. I know once i get it started, the shit will just write itself. It always happens like this The rhymes have been like that, too. Id rather be doing that.. And im pretty sure this isnt just something im typing to reassure myself.

Currently Reading The Lucifer Principle: A Scientific Expedition into the Forces of History By Howard K. Bloom see related

i most certainly have been survived by a slide show.....

.......cold water showers v.s. candle lit dinners

Currently Listening Two Conversations By The Appleseed Cast fight song see related

i really hope that is the caffeine that is making me feel this way, but sometimes i find it hard to assure myself that everything is going to bo ok.  My body is willing to continue any task, but my mind is not where it should be. Every other sunday is like this....when something is due in a few hours. Then i complete it, and its all ok again. This most recent occasion leaves me fusing agendas. The fact that i may or may not be tired of sleeping alone has nothing to do with worrying about school or work or traffic or vice or rest or wasted time. I need to remember to keep the daily grind free from emotional attachments. While it might feel good to hear it once in a while,  I really don't need someone to tell me everything is going to work out. I almost feel better. Ill be awake again in a little bit.

Currently Listening Dark Light Daybreak By Now It's Overhead "Let Up" see related

.emotional.pollution.watch.level.orange.

I am finally comfortable in  admitting that i believe it is healthy to dislike a seemingly simple minded motha'fucka' just for the fuck' of it.  And the fact that you probably don't really know them isn't even a factor. You just straight up dont like something/s about some anonyms person. You cant let a stranger in a crowd in a city you will never visit become a martyr for your bitterness, and it will be beautiful. A victimless crime. You can purge yourself of your pointless suspicions, and that negative energy is released into the atmosphere and it never harms anyone. You killed a cartoon in the sky and no one has to know about it.

But I wounder if too many people practice this kind of emotional detoxification will yield catastrophe. Will  the space between us all become polluted with invisible emissions of discarded emotions.

I have always been an advocate of never misdirecting frustration upon my friends and family.   Our friends and famlily always offer support. Your family and the family you choose are your sponsors.

 I instead project my frustrations on some ghost.  Write some stuff down on paper. Take some notes. refer to them. wake up just a little earlier. Be where i need to be, when i need to be there. It is true that one of the things we all have to look forward to is adult situations, however they may surface. 

Currently Listening Things Go Better with RJ and Al By Soul Position "mic.Control" see related

I have thought a little bit about what i find most amusing, and i have narrowed it down to a two way tie. Recklessness and Neglegence, i feel are the two best things to base a joke around. Afterall, every senseless act is made just that much funnier if the person commiting the act is smoking a cigarette. Maybe i'm wrong.

Currently Listening Dead FM By Strike Anywhere the promise see related

no expectation yields no dissapointment

I am pretty disgusted by the employment of impartial  and anomomys  pronouns. I hate the word "they". More so, I'm most disgusted with myself for letting circumstances completely alien to me affect me in even the smallest way. I miss how indifferent i use to be. 

I get angry when i overhear people on campus on their cell phones giving advice to people about life love and everything in between. I thought i was sick of people who act like they know something, but what i am really tired of is how i let useless shit like this make me mad. These things do not affect me, but i clinch my fist for a second or so. THen it goes away, and i feel bad and i walk to my car and nothing has changed.

Currently Listening Happy Hollow By Cursive Rise Up! Rise Up! see related

Nonsense

A means to an end cataloged backwards.

Today:

I have been awake for a little too long, it seems.

The other day:

A professor who's class i happen to attend alluded to both blotter paper and mushrooms within the same class period. Actually, within about the same 10 minutes or so. I think this class is going to be an all or nothing grad, because he has yet to record any grades. I trust this, for some reason.

The other, other day:

I awoke and left for class an hour or so early. I usually like to wake up a little early b/c I don't think a mind is more apt to driving and learning after being awake for an hour or so. IT makes sense, i guess b/c your awake and not just trying to wake up. Along the side of the highway there was a cross marking the loss of life. This morning commute was different b/c this time i didn't feel that should have been me.

Walking to class, i crossed the street at the usual intersection. The streets looked the same. Some one in Denton needs to fucking sweep. What was different was how still everything was. The cars, the trash, and few people. I felt like i was in the The Day the Earth Stood Still

Before Geography i played Tertis on my phone for about 30minutes. Satisfying. Paused to resume it after class.

In one of my classes, a professor said an easy way to remember a particular cloud was to compare them to women's breasts. Someone a few rows away suggested putting that on the review. I felt this comment to be appropriate, but it probably would have not been if i had said it. I had been thinking like this all day. If i where to put these useless happenings into writing, they would definitely be futile and contrived. I decide to write them any way.

Remembered i had paused a game of tetris.
Somewhere during all of this nonsense i decided that a day long come down weeks prior instilled an urgency to make a change. It worked, but SAturday i think im going to revisit the better half of it all.

Currently Listening Guilt Show By The Get Up Kids Martyr Me see related

i havnt posted in a bit, but i think im gonna start posting stuff again.  I think i have finally found some crap to talk about, but for right now im gonna keep it short and sweet. I woke up today, went to class, got TH and now im gonna go eat a snow cone and listen to some get up kids.

I'm a Good Soul, Martyr Me.

Currently Listening Audition By P.O.S. P.O.S. Is Ruining My Life see related

kinda restless

last few days have been exciting, so yeah. I found a new apt. in Lewisville w/ Willie. We move inthe 21st and Kay moves in next month. Im excited like woah. Time to say good bye to the University Courtyard. To say the very least, we wore out our welcome there w/ the managment and local police a long time ago. The Pizza delivery guys where always cool with us, though. Aside from that, i met some of the best people since living there. I have met some people i will keep as friends for a realy long time, if not the rest of my life.

Also, i dropped by Smiling Ricks to say ello to everyone. I hadnt been there in almost a month, which is strange for me. I had spent alot of time in Fort Worth w/ the family, which is always good.

Rancid is friday, but im not sure if i can afford  to go. I think i should just go anyway, b/c im in debt now and whats one more concert ticket going to hurt. Plus its fucking RANCID. i know i have seen them twice before, but never at a club. 

Ponder is this sunday, also. Jaguar Jones, PARK, and J vs K

What else. Oh yeah, i have gradually stopped eating meat as of rescently. I was just testing it out at first to see how i could accomidate, but i think i feel more confidant about it.  Confident enough to reveal it in a blog, i guess. I think it was working in a kitchen that did it and seeing what food looks like before it becomes a meal. More so a personal decison, instead of some political statment or something like that.

Currently Listening Feeding the Wolves By Josh Pyke middle of the hill see related

right back

Currently Listening Never Trust a Hippy By NOFX Everything In Moderation (Especially Moderation) see related

last few days have been a blur. last weekend was so long, and i felt like i was driving forevor. But watching NOFX play the entire Decline in the rain made it worth it. It was probably one of the most amazing things i have seen at a show.

Need to find a place to live soon. Im concidering Lewisville. At least i can find a better job there. 

Im about to make the short comute to Fort Worth to be with the family. I drove here to Denton last night w/ the intention of just dropping off the rent check, but i ended up hanging out with my friends here. I should have seen that coming. It was a blast as always though. I ran my mouth and now im writing about it.

It seems as if i never have anything new to report. Probably b/c i dont.

need a new ipod. buy one when fall semester gets going. Also, summer school starts in a fewq days. Im actually looking foward to that.

Currently Listening For Blood and Empire By Anti-Flag one trillion dollars see related

i dont know where to begin to explain

Currently Listening Generator By Bad Religion Atomic Garden see related

shit son, i am tired. This last weekend sucked. (Noy including Ponder, b/c that was a fucking blast)

Cops came, we got served but kept our swagger, got theoed,  plus Willie and i both lost our glassess. Long shitty story short, we are moving. Most likey to the Colorado Court. Irs a quiet place w/ a nice view. Plus Lyndo woudl be our neighor. ...

....Also, i was thinking we  are probably the most annoying tenants to have ever lived in the University Courtyard. For that i have no regrets. This place can burn.

Ponder was a fucking blast to say the least. All the bands rocked. The fire was kicking. And damn near everyone was there. I think the kids from buildign 8 had a good time, too.

Im almost out of debt. almost. When i am im gonna charge me a 60gig ipod. proly in a month or less.

I feel like a flake b/c i slept all day and didnt go to kite day w/ kim. dag

...one of the fuckin TA's lost a paper i worte so i have to go turn it in again so i can get a grade change.

Currently Listening Mighty Ocean and Nine Dark Theaters By Astronautalis meet her later see related

and it helps to have the prof. pic w/ the mushroom cloud post. in the bg

fattony

Currently Listening Because the World Has Failed Us Both By Falling Sickness "sleep it off" see related

yeah

Currently Listening Hoss By Lagwagon Razor Burn see related

....Last week was rad ass and a half. Justin stayed with us for a few nights and saw first hand how building 8 gets down.  Shared some convo, ate some Katz, and pistol whiped some bitches* ....oh yeah, then We went Bowling with Lyndo, Willie, and U. cheap pitches, caffine, s7, and a bad bracket for Los. But i left with the shoes.

Work is cool, I sneezed in some kids sandwhich b/c he was an asshole. Even watched him eat it. IT didnt accomplish anything, but he was a dick so it made me feel better.

It seems like when i go to sleep i miss alot of calls. Thats fucking lame, b/c i could go all day w/o a call and be ok. ...no bother.... One more rescent call came as a nice surprise. I hope there wil be more surprises...

Now i have to study for a final tommorw. Which is not that bad. But CH just called and said and i quote "Hey man, are you ready to go fuck some shit up?!?!"  thats tempting, but its time to make it happen with them books.